A Hoe Never Gets Cold

The iconic movie "Mean Girls" verifies that, Halloween is the one night that a girl can dress like a total slut, and non of the other girls can say anything about it. It honestly doesn't matter what you end up going as, but be sure that a true slutty witch bitch will turn the most wholesome costume into a fathers worst nightmare. All you have to do it put the word "sexy" in front of a noun, and there you go, you have a costume! Here let me give you a couple of examples....... sexy crayon, sexy lizard,sexy lumberjack. And then you have the classics; playboy bunny, some sort of sexualized animal, and of course the naughty school girl costume. Although, lets not say all girls feel as though they have to bare all to look sexy.

Other then the Thot-O-Ween worshipers, you have people who put Halloween above Christmas. You know these bitches will be going out the entire week of Halloween, and trust they will have a different costume for each day. But these Halloween hoes don't walk into the first LaSenza, pick up some lingerie and cat ears. Their costumes have been in a backloge of ideas since last Halloween. They have collected pieces to complete their look throughout the year, they literally become their costume. These girls are so dedicated that if they have an exam on one of the nights they are supposed to go out, you know they will be wearing their costume in the exam while sipping on vodka because they don't have time to pre.

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"I love Halloween because there's something special about a day (or a week) that allows us to completely induldge ourselves. From getting your freak on, to eating a whole bag of candy willingly given out by strangers, there is no better time to have a treat day. In my case, my sugar high is planning the most extra costumes that I don't get to design and wear any other time of the year. We're all creatures of habit, but Halloween allows us to explore different parts of our personality that we don't typically expose. Instead of that mask we put on for other stressful Holidays, on October 31st, you get to wear a physical mask and be whoever or whatever you want to be. Halloween, and fall in general is a beautiful time of year and remind us that everything is temporary and change is inevitable. We get so caught up on trivial matters that overwhelm us throughout the year, and this season reminds people to stop and smell the dead roses. As Einstein once observed, "Nothing happens until something moves" and we're constantly being reminded of this when the air becomes crisp and the leaves detach from their tethers. Change can be scary, but it is necessary to grow. Overall, I love being able to share this month with my closest friends and I couldn't be more excited as Halloween approaches!" - Rowan Buratti

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I hope you all have a unreal Halloween, don't get to spooked when you realize that all you have been consuming is alcohol and the occasional PSL, because Jesus's birthday is coming up so you have enough time to cleanse and let some holy miracle shit back into your life.